Chapter 1.22: Continuity

     Cerulean was overdue to return and Rachael needed him home today.  Rhidian and the kids were silent as they were gathered around.  Everyone dressed in black.  Everyone mourning the loss of Patrick, their beloved father and mentor.

     During his afternoon out with Rebecca he suffered a heart attack.  By the time Rachael and Rhidian made it to the hospital the doctor was waiting to tell them he was gone.  Rebecca cried while Rhidian hugged her and Rachael spoke to the doctor.

     They would have to do an autopsy for certainty but the doctor was Patrick's own physician and he thought it would be an unnecessary procedure.  He told Rachael that he had been seeing Patrick for heart problems over the last year and a half and he thought it had been only a matter of time until his heart gave out on him.

     Rachael took care of the necessary paperwork to release his body so they could cremate his remains and get a gravestone made for the backyard.  Then they went home and told River and Ochre who had remained at the house with Mags to watch them that Patrick was gone.

     Rebecca retreated to her room while they spoke.  When Rachael told them the sad news River cried in Rhidian's arms and Ochre hugged Rachael.  While trying to comfort her family Rachael couldn't let herself feel her own pain of the loss they shared. 

     Unlike when they lost their mother no one cried that morning as they said their own goodbyes to Patrick.  They'd had him for so long it was time to let him go.

     Even River as the youngest had always recognized her Daddy was unlikely to see her grow up.  "Just watch me Daddy.  Like I told you, I'll find the best husband ever, as good as Lean to love me," River said before placing the rose she'd plucked before his headstone.

     Ochre said nothing aloud but looked intently at the gravestone before nodding his head and putting his own flower down.

     They waited for Rebecca to speak next but when she didn't Rhidian started his own goodbye.

     "You were the best and the worst of father's old man.  You've shown me what it means to love my family.  But you've also shown me the hurt I can cause them.  I hope to be the man you've shown me I can be because like you, I'm only human."  Rhidian knelt before the stone and brushed his fingers over their fathers name then placed his flower with the others.

     Rachael looked at the simple gravestone and thought of the man she knew.  Loving to a fatherless child, attentive to a lonely little girl and patient with the confused young woman she had been.  There were so many things Rachael wished she could say to him if given the chance but in this moment there was only one thing she wanted to say the most.

     "I love you Daddy," she whispered.

     Rachael turned at the footsteps behind her and turned to see Rebecca walking out of the garden cemetary.

     "Rebecca," she called and stepped toward her sister.

     Rebecca turned back at her name.  "I have to go," she said.

     Rachael was worried about her sister.  Over the last couple of weeks Rebecca was eating and sleeping less. She had bruises under her eyes and she had lost more weight than was good for her.  Neither Rachael nor Rhidian had been able to comfort her, she shrugged off their concerns and went on doing her thing.

     "Rebecca don't go," Rachael pleaded, "stay here."

     "Why?  So you can lecture me on how it's my fault Dad died," Rebecca held up a hand and Rachael fell back into silence instead of objecting, "no thanks.  I've gotta go.  My friends are waiting."

     Rachael watched her sister turn and walk down the street in the direction of her friends' houses.

     "How can she think it's her fault," Rachael whispered.

     Rhidian hugged Rachael,  "It's Becks, Ray.  She's always been extra sensitive when it came to losing mom.  I think that might be where it's coming from."

     "Come on munchkins," Rhidian said to the kids, "let's get you guys to school.  I'll take you on my way to work."

     Ochre and River each gave Rachael a hug before following Rhidian inside to change clothes for school.

     Once she was alone Rachael sat on the bench set in the corner of the garden.  As she sat there in silent contemplation her mind drifted through memories of Patrick one at a time, making her smile, chuckle and sigh.  Through them all she felt the trickle of tears running down her cheeks until she was bent over on the bench crying.

     "I'm sorry it's taken me so long."

     In shock Rachael looked up at his voice.  Cerulean was there.  He was finally there.

     "You're really home right? I'm not imagining this?"

     "I'm really home Ray."

     Rachael jumped up from the bench and threw herself into Cerulean's arms.  She cried into his shoulder while he just held her wrapped in his arms until her tears ran out.

     Once her tears finally stopped they sat on the bench together and looked at the small family cemetery in their garden.

     "I don't know where Grandpa Ray is buried," Rachael finally broke their silence.  "Or great-grandma Melody and great-grandpa Roy.  Our family is scattered about the sim world."

     "What do you know about them," Cerulean asked.

     "Not very much I guess.  I grew up with mom and grandma Meghan," she pointed to the solitary headstone. "I never met my grandpa, he died before I was born. I have vague memories of my great-aunt Marisa because she lived with us for a time but she died before mom married Patrick, so I was still little."

     "Her and grandma were the only children of great-grandma Melody and great-grandpa Roy.  My mom and my uncles Michael and Matt were Grandma Meghan's only children. Uncle Matt died a couple of years after mom did. He never married you know. Nor has Uncle Michael I think."

     "You know a lot about your family then," Cerulean said.  "I only know my mom, dad and one aunt.  Nothing about my grandparents and little about any cousins we have.  Though I work with my brother, sister and some cousins, we don't really socialize outside of the job."

     "Why not," Rachael asked looking at him.

     "To keep the secrets," he said.

     Cerulean hugged Rachael to him and looked back at her.  "I want our child to know everything we can teach him or her about our families.  I want them to have that sense of continuity I hear in your voice when you talk about your family.  You might never have met them but they are 'family' to you.  I'm kind of envious of it really."

      Rachael looked up at her husband and then kissed him. "Ochre and our children will know everything I can teach them about our families," she promised softly.

     Cerulean pressed his forehead to hers, "thanks."

                                                                                                               

Random Ramblings

   Like I mentioned in a previous post I had to reincarnate Patrick for some pics so now I've officially let him go.  It was kind of sad to see him go, especially since he was surrounded by his family.

   Though looking at the picture now I'm laughing to see Rhidian playing the guitar.  For anyone who's noticed, yes, this is pre-redesign house.  So it's Rhonan and Ochre crying, and Rachael just showed up I think or she finished her crying I can't remember.  It was too long ago now. And Grimmy is there too.

   This post was more reading than pictures but really since I'm not going to use any kind of pose player there are only so many actions I can get them to do and with this chapter there wasn't much more I wanted to do in terms of pictures.